Break Up
by Panzie
Summary: This is a sequal to Bashed Up. Nate breaks up with Amanda. Josh starts to be nice to Amanda and Amanda starts going out with Josh. Will this start a big fight? What will Nate do? What will Dylons gang do? Read and find out. Reviews pease! XXX
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was dark in the room, and cold, but I was warm in Nate's arms. We've been going out for a month now, but it feels like years. We were lying on the couch facing the TV, after a long party night. It was about midnight. We lay there, silent, happy.

I turned around on the couch to look at Nate's face. I couldn't. It was too dark in the room. I laid my head on his chest listening to the beat of his heart. It had a slow, easy, beat. His chest was warm through his top. I don't know how but he managed to find my ear. "What do you want to do?" He whispered. His voice was deep and rich. I thought about it. There was about a million things that I wanted to do I slowly got up and out of his arms. I headed in the main direction of the light switch. I found it easily. My eyes blinked at the sudden light. I could see now that Nate was wearing a pair of baggy black jeans and a black shirt, the usual. I was wearing a pair of black and silver jeans and a black top.

"Where're you going?" Nate asked confused. I didn't answer. I walked to the kitchen and to the fridge. There wasn't much food in it, but I did manage to find two red lickerish sticks. I looked up from the fridge to see that Nate had followed me. Perfect. I threw one to Nate; he caught it and started eating it. I put mine in my mouth side ways, the way you would with a rose. I started doing the cha cha right there in the kitchen.

Nate smiled at the sight. He walked to where I was dancing and danced with me. We danced to no music but we could still feel the beat. We were both very talented dancers. We learnt the cha cha in dance at school. Mrs. Leila said I was really good.

At the end of the dace he wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed me eagerly, with the lickerish still in my mouth. The kiss was fast and fiery, it burned against my lips. I could taste the sweet lickerish between our lips. He pushed me against the fridge, moving his hands to my cheeks. I held onto his hips. I felt his body pressed against mine. I didn't want it to end and I didn't want to let go. That's why I didn't stop him when he pulled my top off. It was no longer cold in the room. My phone started going off in my handbag. I didn't care. All I could think about was being closer to him. But I had to stop when it went off for the second time. "I better get that" unwillingly I went to the couch and picked up my handbag.

"Hello?" I said trying to hide my annoyance.

"WHERE THE F* ARE YOU?" I heard someone scream on the other end of the phone.

"Umm...Who is this?" I asked confused.

"THIS IS YOUR _EX_-BESTFRIEND JACKIE, WHO YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PICK UP AN HOUR AGO" She screamed at me. Oh shit. I forgot to pick up Jackie from the airport. Jackie is my friend from Australia.

"I'm so sorry. I'll be there in 10" I said hanging up.

I walked back into the room and saw Nate sitting on the couch with a mad look on his face. "I'm so sorry about that" I said as I sat down on his lap. He looked at me in my eyes. He was searching for something. "I'm sorry" I said again. Nate sighed put his arms around me. I kissed him gently. But Nate just couldn't help himself and started kissing my fiercely again.

"Nate!" I said ripping my lips away from his.

"What?" he said laughing. He was about to start kissing me again but I put a finger on his lips.

"I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow" I said getting up.

"What? Why?" He asked getting up too.

"I forgot to pick my friend up from the airport." I said opening the door to leave. I turned around but Nate hadn't followed me. "Umm...bye" I called. There was no response. I closed the door and got in my car. I looked back at the house. I could see Nate through the window. I could see that something was bugging him; he was really thinking about it too. I left anyway to pick up Jackie.

When I got to the airport it wasn't long till I found Jackie. I knew she would be pissed off at me but I couldn't stop thinking about Nate. He just looked so frustrated. Anyway, Jackie dumped her things in the boot and jumped in the passenger seat. "If your mother is a mother f* then you're a mother f* daughter. She said trying not to scream.

"Oh piss off bitch. I was busy." I said.

"Oh! So busy you couldn't pick me up?" She said through her teeth.

"Yes. It was very...odd" I said trying to keep my eyes on the road. 'Odd' was our word for 'sexy' or 'over rated'.

"Oh, my, god! You didn't?" She said started to get curious like always. I could tell that she was going to want to know the dirt.

"That's right. I didn't. It's none of your business anyway." I said trying to give her less to chew on.

"What base did you get up to?" She said eyes popping.

"I said it's none of your business" I said getting really annoyed. I was finding it hard to concentrate on the road.

"OMFG! I stopped you didn't I?" She screamed. Obviously she wasn't going to stop. I give up.

"Yes" I said with a sigh.

"I'm so sorry!" She said.

"It's ok" I said as I parked the car.

"No, it's not" said Jackie with sad eyes.

"We weren't going to go that far anyway" I said trying not to laugh.

"Ok...What did he say when you got up to leave?" she asked wanting all the gossip again. I thought about the question. What did he say?

"Nothing, he just wanted to know why I had to leave" I said honestly.

"Are you serious? Did he look annoyed or something?" She said not quite believing me.

"Well, he did look frustrated, but that couldn't have been about me...could it?" I asked. I was worried about Nate.

"I don't know" Jackie looked like she was thinking about it very seriously.

We got out of the car and walked slowly to the front door. "Anyway, how long are you staying?" I asked trying to take my mind off Nate a little.

"Four weeks. You're not that eager to get rid of me that much, are you?" She said with a fake hurt look. I couldn't help but laugh. In no time we were both laughing. I missed this when she was in Australia. When we were inside, I showed her where she was sleeping and introduced her to my Nan. We talked till about 2 in the morning.

"You have school tomorrow, don't you?" My Nan said looking at her watch.

"Yeah. Why? What time is it?" I asked.

"It's two in the morning" She said. She forced me to go to bed. I fell asleep quickly. I was so tired.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I woke up early this morning. I wanted to avoid Jackie. She wanted me to fit in at this school and make friends. She was sure to want to dress me up. But she was awake when I got up. Apparently she's a morning person. She made me where a pair of Black jeans with silver dust and a Black and silver long sleeves tight top. She did my hair too. She straitened it and put Blood red hair spray on bits of hair. There was a lot of make-up and jewelry involved too. I made pancakes and we ate while talking about how to become popular. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked really good. I had to say it; Jackie was good with this type of stuff. I wondered what Nate would think. I had to ask him what was bothering him too.

I listened to Rehab by Rihanna in the car on the way to school. I got out of my M3 and looked around. As I walked through the gates of St Benedict's college, only a few eyes looked. I was used to ignoring them now though. I met up with Nate at the front of the school. "Hey Babe" Said Nate when I was in ear shot of him.

"Hey! Look, I'm sorry about yesterday" I said getting to the point.

"It's cool. So, when do I get to meet the famous Jackie?" He asked. That's what I liked about Nate. He understands me and the things that have to be done.

"After school if you want. You could come over to my place." I said smiling.

"Love to. What's up with the look?" He said examining my clothes and hair.

"Oh! Jackie and I were just playing around this morning." I said laughing.

"Right" He said kissing my lightly. The bell went then.

"I'll see you after school, ok?" I asked.

"Ok" he said with a half smile. I turned around to go to my class.

Half way there I looked back at Nate. He was still standing there. He was looking at my clothes with a frustrated look on his face again. I was so confused. I kept walking to class or I was going to be late.

First class was Personal Development with Ms Leila. We were doing sex education. I don't like this subject very much, but I do think I will find it useful in the future. I was getting bored and started to tune out. I wasn't listening at all. I decided to right down all the songs I had to download. I took my note pad out of my handbag and a pen.

"Amanda. What are you doing?" I looked up. Ms Leila had caught me.

"Umm...I'm writing down ...notes" I lied quickly.

"There is no test on this, so there is no need to take notes" she said.

"I'd still like to remember this though" I said back.

"Really? Why so eager today?" She asked.

"Well...I think that personal development is the most important class of all. Especially sex ed." I said thinking fast.

"Why do you say that?" She asked very interested now.

"Because, I don't know about you guys, but I don't want to be a virgin all my life and I don't want to have kids either. So, this information will be very useful for future reference." I said.

"Well, I'm glad you're taking initiative and an interest in this class" she said taken aback. She let me take my 'notes' and the rest of the class went without a hitch.

At the end of the lesson, I packed up my stuff and headed to the door. "Amanda!" I heard someone shout. I turned around to see Rebecca running at me.

"Oh. Hey, Bec!" I said smiling.

"Hey! I really liked what you said in PDV" She said.

"Umm...Thanks" I wasn't sure if I should tell her if I was just writing down songs.

"I thought about what you said and decided I would only go to personal development classes since it's the only one I'll actually need in the future" She said with a really big smile.

"Are you serious?" I said laughing.

"Yes" She said frowning. She was serious!

"You can't do that!" I said nearly shouting.

"Why not?" She said still frowning.

"Because...You need to go to Drama for your acting remember? You want to be an actress" I said trying to convince her to stay in school. This is my entire fault.

"That is so true! Then I will go to Drama and PDV only. I don't want to waste my time in school." she said.

"OMG. What is wrong with you? Do you want to be dumb blond all your life?" I said. Bec hated being called a blond and this was for sure going to make her want to stay in school.

"You have no right to call me a blond. Just because I have blond hair doesn't mean I'm dumb." She said offended.

"Then prove it. Stay in school" I said with a smile. I knew I was going to win.

"Fine! I will" she said. She flicked her hair, turned around and walked down the corridor. What a drama queen.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I walked into the cafeteria and looked around. The cafeteria was a place to hang with your friends and eat lunch. I wasn't allowed to sit with Nate though because of the peer groups. Nate was in with the gangsters and it meant a lot to him, so I told him to stay with them. For me, I sit with Vonnie and Bec at the popular group. I'm not really popular. Vonnie was able to convince everyone that I was cool. It helped that I was in the gymnastics team. I have made friends with them. But I always feel out of the conversation when someone's talking, like there talking to everyone but me. I don't get invited to the birthday parties either. But I don't care because I'm friends with the gangsters anyway. I just can't sit with them.

Out of all the gangsters, Denon is my favorite. I talk to him the most. He's sweet and caring and you can always rely on him. Whenever I go to hang out with the gang, I'd usually talk to him. We could talk for hours without stop. If I'm in a bad mood, he always made me feel better. He has that kind of effect on me. He's like a brother to me.

I walked to Vonnie and sat down. "Hey!" I greeted Vonnie.

"Hey, I heard about your speech in PDV" she said with a smile. Vonnie wasn't the type to drop out of school. She loved school.

"Yeah. What did you think?" I asked.

"It was great. But I know you weren't taking notes" She said knowingly.

"What?" I said astounded.

"You hate PDV and can never pay attention" She said with a know-it-all smile.

"You won't tell anyone will you?" I whispered getting scared of being in trouble.

"I'll keep it a secret if you stop doing things like that" she said concerned.

"Fine, thanks" I said. I could always rely on Vonnie because she would never break a promise.

The day went as usual; boring. But I stayed awake and paid attention. If mum found out I didn't concentrate in school, she would send me back to Australia. School was the only reason she let me come here.

At the end of school I walked out to the front to meet up with Nate. He was already there. He was sitting on a bench with his head in his hands. I could tell he was frustrated again. I slowly walked up to him. "Are you ok?" I said. I sat next 2 him and put my hand on his back. He looked up at me.

"Amanda, we've gotta talk" he said looking up at me. He had this pained look in his eye.

"Umm...What about?" I asked getting nervous.

"Amanda, I never thought I'd say this but... I think we should see other people" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"What?" I said smiling thinking it was a joke.

"I just don't think you and I are working out" He said seriously. I could feel the tears coming to my eyes.

"What?" I said again but with a wobble in my voice.

"I think it's for the best that we break up" He said getting up.

"But, I thought you loved me" I whispered letting the tears run down my face. He put his hand on my cheek and wiped them away with his thumb. His face was so close to mine, I was sure he was going to kiss me and tell me it was a joke.

"I'm sorry" he whispered and stepped back. Without looking at me again, he slowly walked away. I would've run after him but I couldn't. It was like my brain wasn't connected to my body and I couldn't move. Tears streamed down my face and I couldn't see strait. I couldn't blink them away or anything. People started staring and whispering. With no doubt it'll be around the whole school that Nate and I were no longer a couple. I cried and cried. I couldn't get the words out of my head. "I think we should see other people." I just couldn't believe this was happening.

I don't know how long I sat there crying but it felt like forever. "OMG!" I heard someone say from behind me. Obviously they were talking about me. "Amanda, are you ok?" said Vonnie coming into sight. I tried to move my lips but I couldn't.

"Come on. We'll take you home tonight" Bec said. They grabbed my elbows and lead me towards the car park. They put me in one of the Mercedes and drove me home.

_Knock knock knock_ Bec knocked on the house door. "Coming" I could hear Jackie scream from inside. Jackie opened the door and saw me. "What happened" She said with a gasp. Vonnie and Bec took me inside and put me on the couch. I was still sobbing.

"We don't know. She's been like this since the end of school. We had to practically drag her here." said Bec.

"Amanda, what's wrong?" Jackie said worriedly. She kneeled on the ground in front of me and looked me in the eye.

"Nate's gone" I managed to say.

"What? Where'd he go?" she said with wide eyes. Bec and Vonnie were listening very closely now. With no doubt Bec was going to tell everyone at school.

"He left me" I said sobbing at the thought of my own words.

"He didn't" Jackie said her eyes popping and mouth wide open.

"Did he say why?" Vonnie asked. I shook my head.

"How could he? You guys loved each other?" Jackie said patting my back to comfort me, but I just started crying even more. He did love me. At least he used to. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I spent the whole night crying. I sat on my bed and thought about all the times we were together, all the wonderful moments where he held me in his warm and safe arms. He was so sweat and caring and he would do anything for me. He loved me. But I guess things always change. He changed. He doesn't love me anymore.

I had this awful feeling in my chest every time I thought of him; which was always. It was like my heart kept falling from my chest to my stomach. I hated it. Jackie thought that I was sick and should have the day off. She somehow was able to convince my Nan to think that too. Nan was worried sick but I wasn't going to tell her about Nate. I just thought it would be better for less people to know.

Jackie promised she wasn't going to tell as long as I went shopping with her. With no doubt, she thought would make me feel better and get over Nate. Part of me didn't want to let go I wanted to stay and wait for him to come back to his scenes. But that would never happen and I knew it.

I went shopping with her and she bought me a really sexy outfit. On a usual shopping spree I would be giggling and gushing over every cute outfit. But this time I saw no point. There was no reason in looking pretty or sexy because there was no one to do it for. It made me even sadder. I loved my clothes but what was the point anymore. Jackie was very upset that I didn't react the way she was hoping and very concerned. To her, shopping fixes everything.

When we got home Jackie pulled out the dress again. "Don't you like the outfit?" She said looking it over for the 1 thousandth time. It was a black silk dress with slits in all different places. I really did love it, but I'd have nowhere to wear it to.

"I love it! Stress less Bess. I just can't stop thinking of him" I said sadly.

"Come on Amanda! You'll find another guy" She said positively. Unlike her I wasn't so sure.

"I don't want to find another guy. I love Nate!" I shouted at her and burst into tears. I sat down on the couch and cried once again.

"Amanda, boys come and go all the time. That's just the way they are. You have to except that" she said rapping her arm around my shoulders and sitting next to me.

"Not Nate. I don't know what happened but he loves me and I know it" I said positively.

"You're obviously in denial" She said with a little laugh.

"I'm not. I know he loves me. He just..." I couldn't think of an explanation.

"Doesn't love you" Jackie finished for me. I cried for a really long time and this time when I stopped I promised myself that I wouldn't cry anymore. Not over Nate.

I couldn't sleep very well that night. Even though I didn't cry I still felt like it. I sat on my bed thinking of reasons for Nate to break up with me. Maybe he just needed some time alone and he'll come back to me again when he is ready I kept thinking. But as much as I wanted to believe it, I knew it wasn't true.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I had to go to school the next day. Nan wouldn't let me stay home and fall behind on my education. I couldn't be bothered dressing up like usual. I just wore a pair of track pants and a hippy shirt accompanied by a black Hoodie. With the help from my lack of sleep, I looked terrible. Jackie tried to put some make up on me but I ran out of the house before she could.

When I got to school everyone was staring at me. I guess that the rumor about Nate and I had got around. I pulled my hood up over my head. Even though I couldn't see them I could still feel their eyes on me. Usually I would be blushing, but today it was different. It was like I didn't care what they thought. It's my life and they shouldn't know about everything I do. They should treasure their life while there was still something to treasure.

I made my way to my first period, music, with Miss Taylor. I walked straight into class, put my books down and sat at my desk. I knew Dylon was sitting right next to me but I didn't want to look. The computer in front of me was already on and the teacher wasn't here yet. There was nothing to keep my mind occupied and I began thinking more about Nate without even noticing. I tried to hide my hurt and not to cry.

"Amanda, can we talk?" I heard Dylon say beside me. I didn't want to but I knew it would talk my mind off of Nate. Unwillingly I looked at Dylon. He was wearing Blue jeans (a change from the black) and a black Eminem top. His face was serious like always.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked putting on a brave face. I didn't want Dylon to see how much I was hurting.

"About Nate breaking up with you. I know you loved him a lot" I didn't want to hear anymore.

"I don't want to talk about it" I interrupted. My voice wobbled as I said the words but I don't think he noticed.

I looked away from him. Thankfully Miss Taylor walked in the door right at that moment. She wore a big smile that spread across her face. "Good morning class!" She sang. She had a beautiful voice that rang around the class room.

"Good morning Miss Taylor" Everyone sang back. It made me beam every time; except this time.

"Today is going to be a fun class. We are going to get into partners and sing a duet! At the end of the lesson we will be presenting these to the class. Now get started!" I looked around the room. It looked like everyone knew who their partner was.

"Ahem" Dylon was already looking through all his songs for us to sing. I guess I really didn't have a choice. I had to be partners with him.

It wasn't hard to find a song to sing. Dylon raps and I sing so it would work out great; except for the fact that he would push me into talking about Nate. "Why don't we sing..._Livin my life_ by _Rihanna_ and _T.I_? That way we can show off my rapping and your singing." He suggested. As much as I wanted to say no, because it was an old song and that my singing teach back in Aussie told me not to sing it, I didn't. I didn't want to argue or to talk to him a lot. Dylon and I had our fights over me in his gang but I got over it so that Nate could stay in. It was a sacrifice that I had once made for Nate.

We practiced the whole lesson and Dylon didn't even try to mention Nate. He criticized me a lot, as he always did. We always fought over who was better. "You're not using your diaphragm." He said once again. He was really starting to annoy me now.

"I'm trying" I kept repeating.

"You use your diaphragm usually. What's wrong?" He said with a smile. He knew he was annoying me and he was enjoying it.

"Nothing's wrong, let's go again" I said nearly smiling. I was not going to let him win.

We preformed at the end of the lesson and everyone clapped. We did really well. "I liked your use of diaphragm" commented Miss Taylor.

"Thank you" I replied. I gave a short grin to Dylon and grabbed my books and left for R.E.

R.E was very boring. I just managed to stay awake. Ms. Dawn is an old teacher from Scotland. She has this really strong accent that you can't miss. When I first met her I started to laugh but as time passed by it wasn't as funny. It was just plain annoying. I think she was talking about some people called the Sadducees and the Pharisees. So Boring! The rest of the day went the same.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

When it finally came to lunch I couldn't go to the cafeteria because there was no way the poplar group will let me sit with them. Not even Vonnie could fix that. I had to admit, I looked terrible. I was better off sitting with the emo's. I didn't think even the emo's would let me sit with them!

I walked outside and walked up the hill at the back of the school. I sat down on the grass and looked around. I was alone. It was a lovely day with clear skies and the sun was shining brightly. A Plain Prinia was flying above and looked absolutely stunning. It was white Browned and the way it flew was elegant and light. If only I could be that elegant.

I slowly lay down on my back. The feeling of sun on my face made me feel better about my life. _At least something is still bright in my life _I thought with a sigh. I closed my eyes and started to wonder what it would be like if me and Nate were still back together. _He'd be holding me in his arms and kissing me gently like we always did when we were alone at school – No what am I thinking! I can't think like this. It's over and I have to get over him!_ I started thinking all the wrong things again. This isn't right. I had to get over him. As much as I didn't want to, I had to.

_Crack_. I heard a stick breaking coming from behind me. I quickly sat up and turned around. There I saw what I thought I would never see again. "Hi" he said. I was too scared to even talk. It was Josh Southern the guy who tried to kill me just about a month ago. He was alone this time but just as threatening. Last time I was lucky enough to have Nate and Dylon's gang to save me. But now I was alone and vulnerable.

Josh had black with blond tipped hair and green eyes. He wore his black singlet and black jeans; the basic gangster look. I could see his muscles and even thought he is my enemy I'll have to admit, he is pretty damn hot!

"What do you want?" I said standing up. Josh was fast and I knew this from experience. I only just got away last time and that was because I had a head start and Ethan and Ryan (Vonnie and Becs bodyguards) had guns and scared them off. I had no chance this time to get away. My mind was racing, trying to find a way out of there.

"Don't worry" He assured me with a chuckle. "I come in peace" He took a step towards me and I took a step backwards.

"Don't come any closer" I warned him trying to sound threatening. He sighed and sat down on the grass.

"I'm not armed. Last time I fought against you hand to hand, you won remember?" Last time he tried to punch me I choked him and knocked him off his feet. He was right. There was no way he would beat me in a fight.

"Yeah I guess" I said, but I still didn't trust him though.

"Sit down" He said indicating the grass in front of him. I looked around for maybe his gang members or someone who might have a gun or on his side. But there was no one there. "Look, I'm sorry about the thing at the school dance. I was mad that you could beat me. That was all. It's over now and I would really like a second chance." He really had me going by this. I was a strong believer of second chances. It was silent for a moment while I considered this. He looked genuine.

Slowly but surely, I sat down. There was about 5 meters in between us. He smiled. "So, how's your little boyfriend of yours?" He asked. I looked away from Josh and out at the school. Everyone was still in the cafeteria by the looks of it. I wasn't sure to tell Josh or not. What if he used what I say against Dylon's gang? But then again, why do I even care what happens in Dylon's gang? His gang is out of my life now.

I looked back at Josh. He was waiting for an answer. "Nate and I broke up" I said slowly.

"I'm so sorry to hear that. You guys made such a great couple. I was sure you guys would work out. What happened?" He said. He seemed interested and actually sad for me. I didn't want to end up telling Josh my whole sob story so I tried to avoid all the questions.

"Why do you even care? I thought you were against Dylon and everyone in his gang?" I asked.

"Well, this is also your life and I'm not against his gang it's just that we're enemies" he replied.

"Is there a difference and since when do you care about my life? You were going to take it away from me remember?" I kept asking questions. There were so many questions that I never got the chance to ask. Here was my chance to get answers.

But just at that second the 5 minute bell rang. I had to go get my books from my locker and head to my class. Josh got up. "I regret trying to shoot you ok. I've learnt my lesson. I just want to be friends now." He said reaching out to help me up. I thought about it for a second. I took his hand and he yanked me up. I jumped to my feet so fast that I fell into his arms. I looked up at him, still in his arms. We gazed into each other's eyes. His green eyes, deep and comforting, made me feel warm inside. "I'll see you later" he said. He lifted me onto my own feet and walked away.

I couldn't take my eyes off the back of his head as he walked away. When he was finally out of view, I looked away and started walking back to the school building. I couldn't think straight. W_hat the hell just happened? Did Josh actually care about me or was he just trying to get information about Dylon's gang?_ I was so confused.

The rest of the day I couldn't stop thinking about Josh. I had to see him again to ask him all the questions I never got to ask. Maybe he will be there tomorrow.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

When I got home after school I was surprised to see Josh standing on the porch waiting for me. "Hey Amanda" He said helping me with my school books.

"Umm...Hey. What are you doing here?" I said looking around for one of Joshes gang members. He was alone; again.

"What, cant I come to say hi to my favorite girl?" He said with a huge smile on his face. I don't know why but this made me laugh. I showed him around the house and made him a cup of tea. We talked and talked. We talked about parties, school, gymnastics (that's why he looks so familiar) and all sorts of other stuff.

When Jackie got home from the beach, where she had chosen to spend the day, I introduced him to her. At first she was like "What the hell are you doing here? Weren't you the one who tried to kill Amanda?" but after I explained to her that he was good now and had apologized she loosened up a little.

Eventually Josh had to leave because he had a meeting to attend to. "Amanda, if it's alright with you, I'd like to take you to dinner this Saturday" Josh said. I looked around thinking that maybe this was a joke or something. We were out on the porch and it was dark.

"You mean like a date?" I asked.

"Yeah, exactly" he replied. I wasn't sure if I was ready for a new boyfriend but Jackie kept saying that I need to find someone new. Now I was.

"I'd like that" I said trying to keep a smile on my face even though I wasn't so sure if what I'd said was the right thing to say.

"Cool. I'll pick you up at 7. See ya!" and he was gone. I slowly made my way back into the house. I couldn't believe what had just happened.

I sat down with Jackie at the dining table and we ate dinner. "So, do you really think that Josh has changed?" She asked seriously.

"Totally." I answered.

"But he tried to kill you! How can you believe that he has changed and wants to be your friend? Maybe he is still trying to get back at you by hurting you while you're an easy target. You're still off the rebound." She said almost shouting.

"I believe everyone should get a second chance and he cares about me now." I said hurt that she would think that I'm an easy target for boys. "Besides, you told me to find a new guy, now I have" I said finishing my dinner and going to my room.

I closed my bedroom door trying my hardest not to slam it. I sat on my bed and started my homework. I started with the hardest, Algebra. I worked on it for about half an hour. Then I got bored. I got onto the computer and logged in on facebook. No one was on that I wanted to talk to. I finally ran out of things to do on facebook and went to sleep.

In the morning I woke up and jumped out of bed with a smile. I couldn't wait till lunch, to talk to Josh (if he was there). I was so happy even Jackie dressing me up didn't annoy me. She made me wear a red skirt with black leggings accompanied by an "I kissed a vampire and I liked it" top. I had blood red lipstick and deep black eyeliner on. I looked pretty damn sexy if I say so myself.

I drove my M3 to school listening to _Kiss Me_ by _New Found Glory_. I looked around the school for Josh but I couldn't find him. I went to first period, English with Mr. Dinkin without a word. Even with all the make-up and the good clothes, none of the popular people will talk to me. Vonnie and Bec are nowhere to be seen. In English we started reading _Romeo and Juliet_ by _William Shakespeare_. I have read that book a million times and absolutely love it. It was a good start to the day.

Drama with Ms. Heftie was next. I saw Bec in this class but she didn't even look at me. Something was definitely going on. But I let it skip my mind and went on with the acting. In PDV, Ms. Leila let me take notes which I reluctantly wrote. It was so boring but I tried my best to stay focus. I think we were learning about hormones but I can't be sure.

At lunch I rushed to the hill. Half way up the hill I see Josh lying on the grass looking up at the sky. I found my self with a huge smile spread across my face. "Hey Josh" I greeted him. He sat up and I sat down next to him.

"Hey babe! I was waiting for you" he said taking my hand. It didn't feel warm and controlling like the way it did when Nate took my hand. It felt more...hard and overpowering.

"Really?" I was, once again, surprised that Josh would do that even though I wanted him to be here.

"Yeah, I wanted to ask you some thing" he said.

"What?" I really wanted this to be over so that I could ask my questions.

"Instead of dinner this Saturday would you mind going to a party with me and a few friends. It's just that I got invited and being the leader of the gang I have to go" he said biting his bottom lip. I thought about it. A party would be so much fun. But then again I did like to drink at parties and if I get drunk, Josh could take advantage of me. I looked at him. He has been nice to me lately.

"Sure, that would be fun" I said unsurely. I'd just have to try not to drink too much.

We talked about the party for a while. What we were going to wear, who's going to be there and how fun it was going to be. I didn't know any of the guys that were going to be there but Josh said that he would introduce me. We lay down on the grass and looked up at the sky. There were only a few clouds and there were no birds flying around. It was quiet. It was only Josh and me. "Why did you want to kill me so much?" I asked turning over to face him. He slowly turned over to face me too.

"Can we not talk about this right now?" he said with a sigh. His eyes sparkled in the light.

"Ok, later" I said smiling.

I sat up and looked around. It seemed like whenever I was with Josh no one was around. He sat up too, his eyes deeply gazing into mine. For that one minute the world was on pause. It was only me and Josh. His hand softly brushed my hair away from my face and held my face. Our faces were getting closer and closer. His lips reached mine and we began to kiss. It was soft and slow. Nothing like the way Nate kissed me. Nate kissed me passionately and willingly, hot and fiery. I started to imagine Nate kissing me. No. This isn't right, thinking of someone else kissing me when a guy just as sweet is kissing me.

After a minute he pulled my face away. But he kept the space between us to a minimum. "Amanda, I really like you, you know" he whispered. I did like Josh but not in that way. I wanted to see him again so that I could ask all those questions but I didn't want to lie to him. "I know" I said. The bell went and he kissed me goodbye. I went to class with a smile on my face and was happy for the rest of school.

At the end of the day I walked out of school and walked to my car. It was sunny still and the heat on my face made me smile once again. As I turned the corner to the parking lot I was once again I was surprised. Josh leaning against my car smiling at me. "Is this going to be a regular thing with you?" I asked when I was in ear shot of him.

"Well, I just can't resist ya" he said grabbing my hips and giving me a kiss.

"Do you want a ride home?" I asked pulling away. I went around the car and got in.

"I thought you'd never ask, but I was wondering if I could hang out at your house today?" he said putting his arm around the back of my seat and facing me.

"Why?" I asked confused. What would Josh have to do at my place?

"I just thought we could hang out a little. Just you and me." He said holding my hand.

"It's always just you and me" I pointed out. We both laughed.

"Please, please, please" he begged. He put on this really sad puppy dog face. How could I resist?

"Ok" I said giving up. What could happen?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I lead him into the house and onto the couch. Nan was doing the groceries and wouldn't be home till 6 o'clock. Jack was at Pinnawala, the elephant orphanage. She said she didn't want 2 but I made her.

Sitting up, I moved closer to him and draped a leg over his lap. I wrapped my arms around him. He kissed me eagerly – sloppy, even – Pushing me against the back of the couch, and I relaxed into what had to be the first enjoyable physical activity I'd had in weeks. We kissed like that for a long time and eventually he pulled my top off. "I'm not having sex" I warned between kisses. I had no intention on losing my virginity to this guy. He paused thinking about this, and finally decided not to push it.

"Okay." But he pushed me onto the couch, lying over me, still kissing with that same fierceness. His lips traveled down to my neck, that's when the door opened.

Josh jumped to the other side of the couch. I was able to handle Jesse (occasionally came to visit) or maybe even my Nan, but I was not prepared to see Nate! Nate ran across the room and grabbed Josh by the top. Nate's fists were clenched and he looked really angry. "What are you doing here?" Nate growled at Josh. I was really scared now. I hoped Nate wouldn't do anything to rash.

"Why don't you ask her" said Josh indicating me.

"Amanda?" Nate said looking at me. I gulped.

"Umm...me and Josh are dating now" I said quietly. I hoped that would explain everything. Nate's eyes softened a little, but he didn't let go of Josh.

A few seconds past in silence. The anger in Nate's eyes came back but stronger this time. Nate shouted and pushed Josh up against the wall. I jumped up from the couch. "Nate!" I screamed. What the hell did he think he was doing?

"How could you go out with him? He's the one who tried to kill you, remember?" Nate shouted at me.

"Yes, I remember" But people change Nate. You broke up with me. Remember? That was change" I said. Nate looked even angrier after I had said that and I instantly regretted it.

"Leave" Nate said throwing Josh to the other side of the room. He was much stronger than I thought.

"No, you leave" I told Nate.

"It's ok Amanda. I have to be somewhere." said Josh leaving.

It was quiet after he left. Nate looked at me and examined my flushed face, my jeans and my black bra. My shirt was on the ground from when josh pulled it off. I became very self conscious and I could feel the blood rushing to my face. I hid my embarrassment with attitude. "See something you like?" Nate ignored what I said. He picked up my top and threw it to me.

"Get dressed." He said no longer looking at me. I put my top on and sat on the couch.

"What are you doing here?" I asked angrily.

"I came to...see how you were. You seemed happier at school today. I'm guessing he's why" he said still not looking at me.

"Yeah, who knew he would be the one to make me smile for the first time in two weeks?" I said smiling.

"I don't understand why you would go out with him though." He said sitting down and putting his head in his hands. I couldn't see his face but it looked like he was crying.

"He's changed Nate. He cares about me" I said trying my hardest to make him understand.

"Can you seriously believe that? He would never care about you. He will try to use you against us. Don't you see that?" He shouted at me. He was looking at me again at least. He was angry and looked like he wanted to punch something.

"All I see is an ex boyfriend, who did the breaking up, stopping me from getting on with my life." I said strongly.

"Urgh" Nate got up from the couch and started pacing the room.

"Get out of my house" I told him again. I had had enough of him telling me lies about Josh. He grabbed my shoulders and put his face close to mine. There was 7cm apart at the most.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?" he asked with sadness in his eyes but anger in his voice. His grip was really tight and it hurt my arms.

"I told you. He really cares about me" I said quietly. "Let go and leave." I said really annoyed that he would even consider me doing that. He looked at my face, mostly my lips. He came closer and then stopped. I was scared now. The last thing I needed was for Nate to kiss me and leave. Again. I just got over him. He looked back at my eyes again. His eyes were totally sad now. He slowly let go and walked out the door. I was so glad that was over.

I called Josh after a few minutes. "Hello?" I could hear Josh on the other end of the phone.

"Hey Josh. It's me" I said.

"Oh! Hey, what happened after I left?" he asked casually.

"Nate got angry at me for trusting you after...what happened at the autumn dance. But I stuck up for you." I explained.

"Thanks" he said. I could hear music in the background but I ignored it. "Are you ok? He didn't hurt you did he?" I asked worried.

"Nah, of course not. Don't worry bout me babe. I'm strong. I could've taken him down if I wasn't trying to protect you." He joked.

"Yeah! Here's to Nate" I heard someone shout in the background.

"Who was that?" I asked curious.

"Umm...I don't know what you're talking about" Josh said hesitating.

"Okay...I'll see you later then." I said ignoring it. Maybe it was the neighbors or someone.

"Yeah. I'll see you later babe" he said.

"Bye" I said closing the phone. I was glad he was ok.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I stared at my homework. Algebra was so hard when you can't concentrate in class to learn it. If I keep going on like this, mum will make me go back to Australia. Although I don't have Nate here and nothing to hold me back, I still like the freedom of parties and hanging out with friends that I don't get when I'm with my mum. I tried but I just couldn't get the answers. I was going to have to ask Jackie or Nan to help me when they got home.

That's when I heard a tapping at my door. I went to go see who it was and as soon as I saw who it was I instantly smiled. "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while" Denon said walking through the door. He was wearing Black baggy jeans and a white top accompanied by a white hoodie and a pair of black sunglasses. He took the sunglasses off when he came inside. He looked cool.

"Yeah. Well, ever since Nate and I broke up I haven't been hanging out with you guys as much" I said sitting on the couch. Denon came and sat with me.

"I'm really sorry about that" he said sadly. He must have been upset too because he really liked the thought of me and Nate together. E took my hand in a friendly way and started stroking my wrist with his thumb.

"It's ok. It wasn't your fault." I said. At least I hope it wasn't his fault. Nate never really said why he was breaking up with me. He just said that it was for the best. But Denon would never do something like that; something that would hurt me. Denon was like my savior; my hero. When something was wrong I would go to him because he gave awesome advice and he was like a big brother.

"Umm...Dylon wanted me to come and talk to you" He said. Oh god, not this again. If he tells me to break up with Josh, I swear I will kill.

"If that's why you came here, you're wasting your time." I didn't want to hear it. I really didn't. I got up from the couch and walked to the window. I saw the front garden. My Nan loved to plant trees there. The flowers were blooming and looked absolutely stunning.

"Amanda, I'm really happy you've moved on from Nate but...Josh?" He said getting up too. He frowned down at me. Denon was like way bigger than me though he was only about a year older than me.

"It's not your decision to make. I can date anyone I want" I shouted. I couldn't believe that Denon, best friend Denon, was giving me this lecture. I thought he would at least give me a break.

"No, its not. But you're off the rebound and I think you should wait a little while and then start dating." He said. He was concerned and I could tell. I felt like screaming but the look on his face stopped me. "Look. Dylon wants you to break up with him. But it's your choice and I want you to know that I will always be here for you. No matter what your choice is." He said.

I felt like crying. He wanted me to be happy even though it is risking my safety and the gangs. I wanted to crawl up in a ball and hide. Denon somehow knew what I was thinking and gave me a big hug. My head was pressed into his chest and his arms were around him. He smelt like vanilla and I wanted to just stay there forever. Other than in Nate's arms, Denon's arms were my favorite place to be and it sucks having both of them being taken away, just because of Nate's decision to leave me. "It's going to be ok, you know what you're doing" he kept whispering in my ear. Did I know what I was doing? All though I was so confused, it was comforting knowing someone was on my side. I didn't cry. I hated it when boys saw me cry it made me feel self conscious.

When we broke apart he was smiling. "I've got to go now" he said walking around me to the front door.

"What? Why don't you stay for a drink?" I said desperately wanting his company. He looked at me and thought for a moment. He looked like he really wanted to but something was forcing him to go.

"I really have to be somewhere right now. I'm sorry. I'll stop by another time Yeah?" He suggested. I was disappointed but I tried to put on my best smile. Having him over at all would be more than I would expect. Though his visits would remind me terribly about Nate, I would like at least one friend right now, other than Jackie of course.

"Anytime" I replied. He looked down for a second then looked back up at me. He looked right into my eyes. It felt like he was looking into my soul.

"I know you'll do the right thing" he said. And he was gone. What did he mean by that? He had so much faith in me. And by going out with Josh I felt like I was betraying him; like I was betraying my best friend. How selfish could I get?

The tears that I have been holding in started streaming down my face. I slowly managed to get myself into bed. I hid under the sheets and cried. I cried and cried until my eyes started hurting. I couldn't believe I've lost my two favorite boys in the whole world. I wish I would just die! No one would care. No one loves me anymore. I'm just a selfish rich bitch. That's what they called me in primary; rich bitch. I thought they were just jealous that I had money and they didn't but maybe they were right. I'm just a stupid selfish rich bitch!

I heard the door opening but no one came in to check on me. Jackie must have brought one of the boys she met at the beach home. She was always up for boys. I curled myself up in a ball and tried to go to sleep but I couldn't. Tears wouldn't stop pouring out of my eyes. Eventually my Nan came home and left dinner on my bedside table. I didn't want to eat though. Maybe I could starve myself to death. That would sort of be painless. I also didn't want to come out from under the bed covers. The bed covers separated me from the world; the pain and agony that the world puts me through. I fell asleep crying and hungry.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I woke up on Saturday. It was finally the day me and Josh went to that party he told me about. I quickly had breakfast and got in the shower. I didn't realize how cold I was until I felt the hot water running down my skin. My skin burnt at the sudden heat. I let my skin get used to the heat then I started washing my hair. My hair was really long now. Nearly up to my hips.

I don't know how long I was in there for but it felt like a while. When I got out Jackie was in the kitchen eating her breakfast. "Hey, why are you up so early?" she asked as she sipped her tea. She was still in her pajamas.

"I'm going to a party tonight with Josh." I said going into my bedroom. I shut the door behind me.

"I don't think you should be going. What if he tries to hurt you? You won't have Nate or the gang to help you this time." She called from the other side of the door.

"There isn't going to be a "this time". I trust him. He's good now" I said putting on some leggings and a top. I didn't need to wear anything good I was going to get changed in a minute anyways.

"I know you think he's good but it could happen" she said. I opened the door. She was standing with her tea wrapped in her hands.

"I now you're only saying this because you care about me. But I can take care of myself and know Josh better than you do now." I said slowly. I didn't want to start a fight with Jackie. Not today.

Jackie helped me pick out an outfit. But it was too easy to choose. I was going to wear the black silk dress with cuts in different places and red ink stains that Jackie got me. I was going to add black and red pumps and jewelry and blood red lipstick. "You look like a really hot vampire" Jackie said laughing.

"I will suck your blood" I said in a scary voice. We laughed and laughed till we heard the door bell ring. All of a sudden I felt really nervous. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. But there was no backing out now. I had to go through with this.

"Good luck babe. If anything happens just give me a call, I won't be home till late because I'm going clubbing but I can come straight home if you need me." Jack reminded me. Just the thought of her not being home when I got back scared me, but this was my chance to finally prove to her that Josh has changed.

"Just don't get drunk ok? If you're drunk and I need your help, I won't know what to do" I said the thought occurring to me. I could just imagine Jackie coming to my rescue with a bottle of vodka in one hand and throw up all over her front. I laughed mentally.

"Fine! But only if you promise to not get drunk..?" She compromised. I thought it was a good deal. And then later in celebration of our great accomplishments we'll get drunk on red wine late at night.

"Deal" I said as we pinky promised on it. We started laughing at the baby way we made deals. We started it ages ago and never thought of stopping. Just then the door bell went off again. I grabbed my black leather jumper and my red stained hand bag, kissed Jack on the cheek and ran to the door. After the conversation I just had with Jack I didn't feel that nervous anymore.

By the time I got to the door I was out of breath. Josh was leaning against the door frame and turned around when the door opened. He gave me one of the most brilliant smiles ever and gave me a rose. It was bright red (it matched my dress!) and only had 1 leaf on the stem. It was a perfect picture rose.

"You look….mouth watering" He said looking me up and down. I didn't like the way he said that; in a whisper and licking his lip. It made me feel on the spot.

"Thanks. You look great too" Just as I said that Jackie came and took the rose from me.

"I'll put this in a vase before I leave. You too should get going. Look after her! She's very delicate" she said. It felt as if she was acting as my mother on my first date. I blushed. She was so embarrassing sometimes.

"Don't worry. I won't let her out of my sight" He said looking very intently on me. He gave me his cute smile and took my hand leading me out into the garden. He helped me into a silver SUV and the quickly running around the front of the car to get to his seat. Once he was in, he started up the car and started to drive. He slung his arm around the back of my seat and I felt the warmth of his skin and I smelt his after shave. He had so much aftershave on that it was overwhelming and I couldn't stand to even breathe. I held my breath for a while and only took tiny bits of air in at a time when I had to. We didn't talk either. There was silence; but it was a comforting silence. It was the type of silence that didn't feel awkward and gave you time to think. Bu I didn't want to think. If I started thinking I knew that I would think about if this was a good idea or not and I knew it wasn't and I didn't want to freak myself out. So I tried to keep my mind on trying to breathe.

I was relieved when we pulled up to a house in a small lane. It was such a small house but even from the outside you could tell that there were a lot of people inside. There was loud music that I could hear even from outside. This was going to be a hell of a party.

Josh helped me out of the car and led me inside. "Whose house is this?" I asked out of curiosity. I had to, not shout, but talk loudly so that I could be heard over the music. The furniture had been pushed against the walls and everyone was dancing in the middle of the room. People on the side were talking and/or making out with their partners. One couple that I had spotted was really having a go at it. The guy had the girl backed up against the wall and the girl had one arm wrapped tight around his head and one slung around his neck. She was half disappeared beneath him and his whole back was moving with the energy he was putting into kissing her.

"It's my friend, Ryan's. And ignore the couple that are making out. They just got together and no matter how hard I try, I can't rip them apart." He laughs. I didn't know who Ryan was and why would he want to rip the couple apart. As much as I thought that displaying so much affection to the public was a little bit gross, it was sweet that they love each other so much. I didn't comment though because just seconds after I asked Josh he was taking off my jacket, grabbing my handbag which was slung over my shoulder and pulling me onto the dance floor. He held me close around my waist and grinded against me. I laid my hands gently on his shoulders and looked up at him. He had his little cheeky smile on and winked at me. I blushed and looked around to see if people where watching. They were all dancing like us too so it made me feel ok.

Josh leaned down and brought his head next to mine. I felt his lips gently brush my neck. If this was Nate I know for sure that it would have turning me on but it didn't. Josh just didn't have the same effect on me as Nate did. If made me feel sad that I was on a date with Josh and not Nate. I thought it would take my mind off Nate but it didn't. It just made me want him more. I felt like curling into a ball and crying but I just held onto Josh hoping that he would never let go. If I can only hold onto him till I get over Nate and fall in love with him. Everything would be ok. But what if I never fall in love with Josh and I can't get over Nate. Josh and I will get closer and I'll have to break up with him in the end and then he might get mad at me and set the gang on me to kill me. He'll hate me all over again. This was going to turn out really bad no matter what I did, because now I could never brake up with Josh because he'll get mad and kill me. God damn it! Why did I get myself in this mess!

All of a sudden the music stopped and someone jumped up on a chair. "He guys!" He shouted. Was he drunk? Everyone cheered for him. "Well, I hope you guys are having a good time. But it's time to start the meeting. Josh you ready mate?" he asked looking down on us. Josh took his arm away from my waist and jumped up on another chair and the other guy got down from his.

"Well, the news is, The east side gang has been spotted buying 4 liters of gasoline and they Dylon aka Alpha has been pushed or willingly stepping back from leader responsibilities. In his place has been Nate aka Amanda's ex-boyfriend. Amanda being Dylon's cousin." Hearing Nate being called my ex-boyfriend made me want to cry but I couldn't show any emotion because everyone all of a sudden looked at me. But they looked back up at Josh when he started talking again. He was sounding very official like and all. I've never seen him so serious. He kept going. "They have been sending in members of the gang to get Amanda to break up with her current boyfriend, Me. From the views of Amanda, she thinks it's because they don't want her to get caught but I think it's because they don't want us to have something to defend ourselves with. This also gives me the impression that they are going to try and get her back and out of our clutches. Now it's up to, what are we going to do?" He asks. Some people stayed silent but others started discussing with others.

One guy raised his hand and Josh ushered everyone to be quiet. "I think that we should keep a close eye on Nate instead of Dylon now that Dylon isn't the one making orders. We should also protect Josh the most because they wouldn't dare hurt Amanda therefore their tack ticks would be to go for Josh since he is her only reason to stay with us." Everyone murmured their agreement and nodded. It did make sense. Nate would never do anything to hurt me, I knew this because it showed when he had sent all of those people to see me. He even came himself. But Denon said that Dylon had sent him, not Nate. This confused me. Did Denon lie? Or had Nate's gang got the information wrong. I didn't have the guts to say something so I thought I should just keep it to myself.

After everyone had discussed they're plan, which was to keep an eye out and when things get really obvious about attack then we all protect Nate, they brought out the alcohol and started the real party.


	11. Chapter 11

6 Page

Chapter 11

By the end of the party everyone was drunk off their face except for Josh and I. some people passed out, some fell asleep and others left earlier. Josh helped me put on my jumper like they do in the movies and handed me my hand bag which I swung over my shoulder. He looked the door behind us as we walked out. His arm was around my waist once again. Now that he had sweated a bit while dancing his aftershave wasn't as dominating and I could comfortably rest my head on his shoulder. It was cold out and Josh made me feel nice and warm.

"That was a great party, Josh" I said feeling a bit tired now that I wasn't movie around so much.

"I'm glad you liked it. I hope we can do this again sometime" it was said as a comment but it sounded more of a question. By now we were closer by the car and I could see people next to it pouring some liquid all over the place especially on the car! All thoughts about what Josh just said disappeared.

"Josh…What are those people doing?" Josh looked at where I was looking and picked up his walking pace. When we were about 10 meters apart I saw who it was. It was Nate, Denon, Dylon and Jesse. What were they doing here?

He grabbed me and wrapped his arm around my neck, holding me off the ground. It was chocking me. My hands flew up to Joshes arm around my neck. I pulled on it to get air. I felt a gun being pressed to my forehead. My whole body tensed. I was so scared to move. I'm not the type of person to admit fear but right now I was pretty damned scared.

"Back away from the car and no one will get hurt" Josh ordered. I felt his angry voice vibrate right through him. Nate just stood where he was without even a flinch. What was he doing? Does he hate me that much?

"I wouldn't do that if I were you" Nate said. He pulled a lighter out of his pocket. I knew now what was happening. The liquid all over the car was the gasoline that everyone was talking about at the party. If fire got to it, it would blow up. I smiled. I knew Nate would never come to my rescue without a plan. That's my Nate. Well, not really mine. Josh seemed to understand what was happening now too.

"Smart, but not smart enough. See, if you blow up my car, your little sweetie here, will be dead" Josh said smoothly. The realization hit me. Josh was just using me. He never even liked me. I was just bait. Not good bait though. I don't think Nate gives a fuck if I live or die anymore. This was probably Nate's big chance to get up in the gang. I felt like crying. I was about to die and I knew it.

Nate was now staring at me. What was he going to do? He looked really angry. Nate moved the lighter closer to the car.

"Nate!" I couldn't help but scream. The tears that I have been holding in started pouring down my face. Josh shook me to shut up. I did so. I tried to look at Nate but my tears made everything look blurry. "I'm sorry. I love you" I mouthed hoping he would understand.

"Nate, put the lighter down. She'll get hurt." Denon said from behind him. It was silent as Nate thought about it. My tears cleared up a little and I could see Nate clearly. He looked like he was in pain. Nate did what Denon said and looked at the ground. His fists were clenched up into fists. Josh laughed.

"Good choice." He said. Josh let go of me. I fell to the ground and started crying. "Get up" Josh ordered me. I can't believe I ever trusted him. He was just using me so that he could over power the East gang and all of my friends, whenever he wanted. I was his prisoner and I didn't even know it. I did what he said. He placed his arm securely and roughly around my waist. He sickened me.

"We're gonna have fun tonight, just you and me baby" he said winking. My eyes widened and I felt fear run through my veins. He was going to rape me and there was nothing I could do about it. I wasn't ready for this. Not with him. He was evil and I should have never trusted him. I knew that now. My mouth went dry and I couldn't move. It was too late now. I couldn't believe this was happening.

_Bang Bang! _Without a warning a gun was shot. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. Josh flinched and the arm around my waist softened its grip. Josh slowly fell to the ground. There was a dead body at my feet. His face showed nothing. No sign of pain, or sadness, or anger. Nothing…just…dead. I tensed again. Tears were streaming down my face so fast now I could hardly breathe. I slowly turned my head to Nate. His gun was up and pointing to where Josh once stood. He slowly put the gun down to his side. But it was still in his hand. There was silence.

"Amanda" was all Nate said. He took a step closer to me. I hesitated. My Nate would never kill. He knew I was against it. Even if he was about to rape me. I tried to step back but I ended up falling to the ground next to Josh. Nate was shocked. I was scared of him. He wasn't the Nate I knew. "Amanda. He was going to hurt you. I couldn't let him. I had to kill him." He explained in a pained voice. It was almost as if he was forcing the words out.

I couldn't take my eyes off of the gun. Every move it made scared me. One move of Nate's index finger and _Bang!_ The gun would shoot. Nate realized what was scaring me. He slowly put the gun down. "Ok now?" Nate asked. I managed a small nod. I wanted to be in his arms; his safe arms. But was this my Nate? He took a slow and hesitant step towards me. I didn't move.

The boys were still behind Nate wondering what to do. Dylon, who seemed proud of Nate's kill, patted him on the shoulder. Nate wouldn't take eyes off of me and I wouldn't dare look away either. The gang helped carry Joshes dead body away.

"What are you going to do with him?" I asked finally tearing my eyes away from Nate. I didn't want anyone to get caught and go to jail. I'd so bad if that happened! It would be my entire fault and there would be no way for me to fix it. Though I'm pretty sure Dylon would like that. It'll "up his rep" that's what he would call it.

"He'll be buried in the forest over there" he said indicating behind him. "We won't get caught, trust me" he said as if he was reading my mind. I managed a small smile. Once they were gone, Nate slowly made his way over to me. I only the realized how cold I was.

"I should never have left you. I won't ever do it again. Please forgive me?" He whispered in my ear. He buried his face in my hair. This was my Nate. He wanted to get back together with me. I thought about it. Did he want me back because he doesn't want me with anybody else or because he loves me? Would he ever leave me again? Was it worth all the pain he could put me though again? Did he ever love me? All these questions buzzed through my head. More tears started spilling out of my eyes. Nate looked up at me and began wiping them away, desperate to stop me from crying. "Everything is going to be ok, sweetie. I'm here. I won't let anything hurt you… I won't hurt you" he said about a million things like this before Dylon and the boys came back.

"Time to go home" Dylon said simply. Nate got up and held out his hand to help me get up too. I didn't accept it. I got up by myself and walked to stand by Denon.

"Let's go." I said without looking back at Nate. I could feel his eyes drilling into me though. Denon wasn't sure what to do. Maybe Nate was giving him the evil eye or something. "Please!" I begged. I turned around to Nate. "I need some time to think" I told him. His eyes were full of tears and I swear I felt my heart break at the sight. Nate was usually so… together. To see him like this made me feel like running to him and telling him it was going to be ok. But I still had to get my head around things. He manages a small nod. I turned back to Denon. He puts he hand on my lower back and leads me to a black Porsche. Where do they get these expensive cars from?

"Hop in" Denon ordered. There was something in his voice that scared me. Urgency maybe? I got into the passenger seat and wait for Denon to walk around the front of the car and get in too. The car was warm so the heater must have been on. He gets in, starts the car and drives away from Ryan's house. It was silent in the car but I could hear things from outside. The other cars zooming past and drunk people walking home after a long party night. We came to a stop at a cross road. Denon turned to me. He put his arm on the back of my chair.

"Why didn't you go home with Nate, Amanda?" He looked angry. I hated seeing him like that. I looked out of the window again. I didn't want to look at him. We were next to the beach. I heard waves crashing at the shore. I saw a couple walking side by side, holding hands, and looking peaceful and happy. "Answer me god damn it!" He shouted angrily, hitting the back of my chair making it jump forward with me in it. I jumped at the sudden outburst. This Denon really scared me. I've never seen him so angry before.

"I said I needed some time to think" I said simply and quietly. The couple had walked out of view. The car started moving again. Denon's eyes were back on the road. His arm stayed where it was though. For the first time, I felt uncomfortable with Denon.

"He still loves you and wants you back. He saved your life. What else is there to freaking think about?" He shouted at me. I wasn't sure. I was just so confused. What had happened tonight? I was still just getting my head around it all.

"I just want to go home" I whispered. I felt Denon's eyes on me but I refused to look. I didn't want to see something that I didn't want to. I just kept my eyes on my hands that lay in my lap.

"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. I just…I don't want you to make the wrong choice" he said softly. He took my cold hand in his strong and warm one. I was grateful that I had him in my life. He's always been there for me. He was like a brother to me; except way better than Richard. He cared about me. I don't know what I would do without him. I should probably take his advice this time.

Before I knew it, we were parked in front of my house. "Amanda, we all want you back. And it's not only because of Joshes gang." I nodded and slowly got out of the car. The car disappeared within seconds. Inside the house was cold. Nan probably decided to go to a friend's place for the night. She hated being home alone. I turned the heater on and sat on the couch in the dark, tired.

I tried to think of what happened in the last twenty minutes. It was amazing how much can change. I love Nate; always! But I didn't want to get hurt anymore. But would he hurt me again? I guess the only way to find out for sure was to try it. That's what I was going to do. Have Nate back in my life again. The thought made me smile. I'm going to have Nate back!

There was a knock at the door. I got up and opened it. It was Nate. I flung the door wide open and fell into his warm arms. He was surprised at first but then hugged me tightly.

"I want you back" I whispered. I was so happy to be back in his arms again. We stood like that for a long time. He held on to me tightly, brusingly even. I think he was afraid of me going again. No, I don't think I'll ever be without him again. I couldn't even help but realize that he even smelt the same as he used to. Like peonies.

After about five minutes he pulled back.

He kissed me. His arms snaked around me and pulled me closer. My body was now pressed hard on him. His kiss was hard and furious. I wrapped my fingers in his hair, trying to pull him closer and deepen the kiss. Meanwhile, his fingers were running against my bare leg, pushing up my dress up almost to my hip. Anticipation and eagerness lit every part of my body.

This was it and I couldn't believe how much I wanted it. How much I wanted him. He pushed me through the open door and closed it behind him, without letting go of me. He picked me up and carried me over to the couch and he pushed me down.

"I want you; now" he growled. He got on top of me. My hands moved down to his shirt, undoing all the buttons so that I could touch his chest. His skin felt amazing with the burning within me. He moved his lips from mine, down to my neck and shoulder and covered my flesh with hungry kisses; softly sucking my skin and licking. It felt amazing.

His clothed erection pushed against my thigh and I felt how hard he was. I moaned wanting him in me so badly. I frantically tried to pull his shirt off all together. I couldn't get it so he helped me. One by one we helped each other get undressed. He took his time caressing every inch of me. His hands roamed me; exploring every inch… He kissed my breast with earnest before sucking the whole nipple. I moaned at the sensation and arched my back to give him more access…

"mmhh. So good. So soft. Oh Baby!" he urged me on. My legs wrapped around his hips and his hard dick was positioned at my entrance just as something occurred to me.

"Wait!" I said loudly.

"What? What's wrong?" He said startled, his eyes wide and concerned.

"Condom?" I said simply. He smirked. He picked up his jeans from the ground and took a condom out of the pocket.

"How did you know that I would want this?" I asked. How was he so prepared? He ripped the latex with his teeth. God, that had to be the hottest thing I've ever seen.

"Lucky guess" he said kissing me hard. That was for sure the end of the talking. He pushed back and rolled the condom on quickly. It was the first time I had ever seen a condom. I was so wet now that I felt it on my thigh. He looked at me in the eye. His eyes were black with lust. "I've wanted this for so long" he whispered. He kissed me again.

His head went in and I gasped feeling the first pain, tears sprung into my eyes. But the pleasure over did the pain and I wanted him so much. But he had no way of knowing this. He pulled back a little and looked at me with a questioning look. Just like him now wanting to hurt me even during sex.

Nate wouldn't ever hurt her. He was kinda hoping she would be game anyway. But after hearing her gasp in pain, he wasn't sure if he should proceed.

"Oh god! Please don't stop now!" I said annoyed. He smiled and pushed a little further. I kissed him and rocked my hips against him taking all of him in. He moaned at the friction. I was breathless. His lips roamed my body as he thrust himself deeper into me. He drove me faster, harder, and deeper. Thrusting his cock into me and moaning. I felt his whole length and how hard he was. The only sound that we heard was the sound of our pleasure. My hands lightly pulled on his hair and I pressed myself closer to him.

His cock grazed against my g-spot and I arched at the pleasure it gave me. It felt like every part of me was on fire.

"Ahh, Nate I…I'm gonna cum." I screamed. He pushed against my g-spot harder. My nails dug into his back as I held onto him for dear life. I was probably going to leave marks there that will show in the morning.

"Yes, holy shit, yesss. Call for me baby!" he whispered next to my ear. That did it. My walls tightened around his erection and my juices coated him as I came, Hard! I screamed.

"O, Nate! Baby! Fuck! Shit! Mmuurrhh" some other filth came out of my mouth but I didn't care. Seconds later I felt him twitch inside of me. He exploded and collapsed on top of me.

We lay on the couch naked and breathless. I rolled up against his side with my hand and head on his chest. His chest was raising and falling just as fast as mine. It was like we had just run a marathon. His arm was wrapped around my shoulders. No one spoke. I never knew sex could be like that. That amazing.

"I love you" I whispered. There was silence. I looked up at him and the lust in his eyes was now gone. Now it was something I couldn't identify. Dreamy maybe? He sat up and kissed me softly.

"I love you too" he said against my lips. It was love in his eyes. I wanted to spend my whole life with Nate. To be in his safe arms. To wake up by his side every day. To love and be loved.

I looked down at our naked bodies and the couch and the empty dark house. I never really thought that my first time would be like this. But I realized that the place didn't matter. The person did. With someone you loved, you could be anywhere, and it would be incredible. Being in the most luxurious bed in the world wouldn't matter if you were with someone you didn't love.

And oh, I loved him. I loved him so much that it hurt. I wish I had the words to describe sex, but nothing I can say would really capture how amazing it was. I had felt nervous, excited, and about a gazillion other things. My body was hurting now but yet at the same time, it felt amazing, blissful and content. I wished I'd been doing this a long time ago, but I also knew it wouldn't have been right until this precise moment…

_**The End**_


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